Pulled Pork Ribs

This is an easy paleo (or paleo plus beer if you are us) recipe.

If you are hardcore paleo or gluten intolerant, just substitute the two beers for an equal amount of chicken or beef broth. It will taste almost as good, but you will burn in hell (not if you are gluten intolerant, though). It requires 15 minutes of work just before bed and another 15 in the morning. If you don’t have this sort of time it is really about time you and I had a talk about work/life balance and priorities. Seriously, just get it together. Petra and I get a whole pig once in a while, and we demand that it is pasture-raised and fed things other than factory pig yuck. If you also have access to this kind of pig, do not use it for this pulled pork recipe. There are many uses for a pig that comes in around $1,000, but this is certainly not one of them. Get a couple of racks of ribs from somewhere nearby when they are cheap. Trust me, you’ll live, and the results will be delicious.

Here are all the ingredients and tools you will need to make this happen:

Pulled pork rib ingredients

1. Turn the slow cooker on low.

Ignore the “high” setting on the picture above. You want to cook that pulled pork low and slow.

2. Pre-cooking prep:

  • Cut the racks in half (put a knife between two bones and cut until the one rack turns into two racks, suckah!)
  • Salt and pepper each piece on both sides and drop them in the slow cooker (sometimes you end up with an extra partial rack. That is what your freezer is for).

Pre-cooking prep

  • Put as much hot sauce over the ribs as you dare. I use Tapatio or Valentina, but you could use most any reasonable sauce you have on hand.
  • Pour one or two beers in the pot (nothing too hoppy. Ideally you use an amber ale of some sort). I usually put one beer in before the ribs, then another after. I have no good reason for this, but I think that is just my Rainman-like love of patterns and structure for their own sake coming out. Again, you can use broth here, but remember those fires and screams of the damned…

It puts the ribs in the crockpot

  • Put the lid on and…

3. …Sleep the sleep of one who knows he will wake up to a few days’ worth of protein.

4. Post-cooking prep:

  • Wake up in the morning and turn off the slow cooker.
  • Carefully extract the ribs from their juices and put them in a container big enough to fit them.
  • Grab two forks (yes, yes, I know they weren’t in the picture that promised that all you would need to accomplish this is in this picture, but seriously, just grab the fucking forks already).
  • Scrape them across the meat perpendicular to the bones, and you will pull the ribs. Remove the bones or any other cartilaginous bits (some of the ribs are not bones, but cartilage, and while I eat those bits with abandon, most normal folks -you know, the kind who are able to make a hamburger without eating a piece of raw beef in the process (it makes me so hungry just thinking about it) – do not prefer that the gristle remains in with the meat.

Dream sweet dreams while smelling the pork!

  • Add salt, pepper and hot sauce if you feel the need.

Critical step:

Save the fluid in the pot. If you are inclined to, make sauce, or even just moisten the pulled pork meat (ewwww!) to your liking. I made sauce, but I am too lazy to share my recipe at this juncture.

Eat this with some of the vinegar slaw I swear I will post a recipe for soon.


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